


A Deafening Silence

by SunshineScorpius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Bullying, Draco is a good dad, Grief, Love, M/M, Pre-Slash, james is a prick but he means well most of the time, my poor babies need protecting, their love is the purest kind, turned to slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-14 01:31:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18042899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineScorpius/pseuds/SunshineScorpius
Summary: When Astoria Malfoy died, she took with her Scorpius’ voice. Overwhelmed with grief, he could no longer find it in him to speak. Albus was determined to get him back to his old self, but until then they learn the beauty of an unspoken connection as their bond grows.





	A Deafening Silence

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Whoever ‘they’ were, Scorpius had decided, were wrong. He knew exactly what he had: a mother, a carer, someone who held him tightly when nightmares became too much, someone who loved him unconditionally, someone who would wash his clothes and feed him dinner, someone who played princesses and dragons with him, someone who taught him to dance, someone who laughed when he laughed, someone who cried when he cried. That someone was no longer around. His mother, his whole entire life, was two weeks dead.

Scorpius knew exactly what he had whilst she was around, and now, he knows exactly what he’s lost, too. That, he suspected, made it ten times harder.

He still remembers the way her frail hand held loosely onto his as the life slowly drained from her. He suspected it was something he’d never be able to forget. Her skin dulled paler than the moonlight, tinted with a murky swamp green. There was no rose to be seen in her cheeks. Small dribbles of sweat beaded down her forehead and cheeks, the only moisture her dry skin had seen for weeks. Her lips were chapped like the bark of a tree, though was not quite as beautiful. Her eyelids drooped because every last bit of her strength went to keeping them open, to grace the world with her dazzling blue eyes for a moment longer. But, even her eyes were different.

They were once full of light and energy, buzzing with enthrallment. She charmed everyone into a dance with those orbs, no one could ever say no. Stars shone brightly in them, illuminating their essence. But when the days started to become her last, they dulled. The spark was gone, the energy drained, the enchantment dispelled.

Scorpius hated watching movies where they talk about a passed loved one. They would all say the exact same bullshit.

_They were smiling even in their last moments._

_They never failed to make me laugh even when close to death._

_They never dulled, they were always so full of light._

It was bullshit because it was never true.

No one died happy.

Especially those who knew their death was forthcoming.

Scorpius had known his entire life that his mother would die when he was young. He just always thought he had more time. Thirteen years is never enough time. He took so much of it for granted. Little moments like buying his first broom and reading her his first book. They were great moments but paled in comparison to the moments they could have had.

Don’t get him wrong, he spent every waking moment with his mother. His hardest times in life was being at Hogwarts because she wasn’t there to hold him when his nightmares followed him. She wasn’t there to ward of the bullies or wipe his tears when he got upset. Whenever he returned home, he spent every day in her room with her. Sometimes they would go for walks if she was feeling up to it, but mostly they sat and read together until one of them fell asleep.

Now, she was gone.

He’d never forget the day.

He screamed and screamed and screamed. He screamed until his voice was raw and his eyes were heavy. He screamed until all that came out was a whimper and he collapsed onto her old bed and cried and cried and cried. Then, he stopped. And he never spoke again.

 

* * *

 

 

They say the things that finally break you are the words caught in your throat, desperate to be aired but strangled at the last moment.

It was like that at first. Scorpius was at a loss for words, everything he went to say got stuck in the lump in his throat. But, eventually, not being able to speak became an option. There was never anything he wanted to say, his head so full of thoughts but none quite passed his lips. No words were ever worthy enough of speech and no one was worthier than his mother to hear his words. She was the only one he wanted to talk to and yet, she was the only one who he would never be able to speak to again.

His father took him to healer after healer, begging them to tell him what’s wrong with his son. They all said it was grief, and maybe it was, but it was so much more than that. It was pain and loss and heartache and love. His mother was gone, and with it his voice.

He was reminded of her every single day, even in the most obscure ways. Right now, standing on Platform 9¾, Scorpius remembered his first day way back in first year, when she struggled her way out of bed because she would never miss seeing him off in his first day. She hugged him tight and gave him sweets because _they always help you make friends._ And they did. Because on that very first day he met his best – and only – friend, Albus Potter. What they had, the friendship they’d built, started with her. Which is why his heart broke more when he saw his unruly raven-haired best friend fight his way through the crowd to meet him.

“Scorpius!” He exclaimed when he was close. Even his bright, gleaming smile – one that was so rare and so contagious – couldn’t falter Scorpius’ stony façade. He could already feel the tears swelling up and he desperately tried to get them to stop. Albus’ face instantly dropped when Scorpius didn’t return the same enthusiasm for seeing him. He was excited, _he was_ , but right now all he could think about was his mother and the role she played in bringing Albus into his life. Maybe it would always be like that now. Scorpius weren’t sure if he could live with it.

“Scor, are you okay?” And that was it, the tears came rolling down his face faster than the taps in the Prefects bathroom. Even his crying never carried any sound. Maybe the lack of talking meant he was going to lose his voice forever. Scorpius was okay with that. Albus instantly threw his arms around him, wrapping Scorpius up tight in the best hug he’d received since his mother died. His father was never very good at hugs.

“He- he didn’t tell you?” Draco asked Albus once he pulled away. Scorpius hadn’t told him. He hadn’t written him at all in the past two weeks, he couldn’t figure out what to say. Even in letters, he was silenced.

“I haven’t heard from him in two weeks, I was worried sick. When you showed up here I just assumed everything was okay, and that you’d gone away or something,” Albus answered, looking at Draco and only then seeing the worry lines around his eyes, put there by grief itself. Scorpius looked to his father with big, wide eyes, asking him to tell Albus for him. Draco seemed to understand and nodded.

“Astoria… she, erm,” Albus gasped, catching on to the end of the sentence before Draco even finished talking.

“Shit, Draco, I am so sorry… that’s- I- th- shit, I don’t even know what to say,” Scorpius wasn’t sure, but he could have sworn he heard a chuckle come from his fathers’ lips. Thankfully, Draco had always been fond of Albus and even found his ridiculously inarticulate ways funny. Scorpius found them quite endearing.

“That’s okay, Albus,” his father managed. “Scorpius, why don’t you take your bags to the luggage compartment,” his father directed him, and Scorpius nodded. He sent a shy smile in Albus’ direction and picked up his luggage, knowing full well that when he was out of earshot, the conversation would turn to him.

 

“Albus, there’s something you need to know and something you need to promise me,” Draco spoke to Albus as soon as Scorpius was far away enough to not hear. The cryptic words made him feel slightly anxious, was there something more going on that Scorpius hadn’t told him? Well, he hadn’t told him anything, but even Albus couldn’t find it in him to be mad. How could he be? He just lost his mother. Albus knew more than anyone exactly what Astoria meant to him. A letter from his mum, or even just the mention of her name, used to be able to cheer him up even on his darkest of days. Albus now feared that nothing would ever make him smile again.

“Anything, sir,” he replied. He hardly ever called him ‘sir’, but somehow this conversation felt more formal.

“Ever since Astoria… ever since it happened,” he struggled for words. It was the first time Albus had seen the older Malfoy stumble over himself. “Scorpius hasn’t spoken.”

“At all?” Albus asked, because surely that wasn’t possible. Scorpius never shut up, it was one of the things that Albus found most endearing about him. His ability to talk bullshit to no end was truly some kind of superpower. Most people found it incredibly irritating and never failed to tell him so, but not Albus. Surely, there was nothing that could silence the great Scorpius Malfoy?

“The healers say it’s grief and he probably will speak again, but we just don’t know when. What I need you to promise me is that you’ll be patient with him? You’re his best friend and he needs you now more than ever because I’m not going to be around,” Albus looked over to Scorpius, who could barely be seen in the sea of people. His blond hair gave him a slight distinction. He was stood in an orderly queue – close to the front – waiting to drop his bag off.

Albus couldn’t help but notice his smaller stance, the way his arms wrapped around himself as though he was cold, despite the heat of the end-of-summer sun. He crossed his ankles, his stance becoming slightly unbalanced as he swayed with the gentle breeze. Everything about him, from the closed stature to his head hung low screamed vulnerable. Albus’ heart broke. He always knew his friend was fragile and now his mothers’ death had caused thousands of cracks; he was one poke away from breaking completely.

“Draco, I promise. You’re forgetting that Scor’s my best friend, too. I’ll be patient and I’ll hex other kids who give him any grief, you have my word,” Albus tore his eyes away from Scorpius to look at Draco. He placed one hand over his heart and held the other up in salute. Draco chuckled at his silly actions.

“Thank you, Albus,” Draco said sincerely. He placed a hand on Albus’ shoulder and squeezed tightly.

“Ready to go?” Albus asked as Scorpius made his way back over, free of his luggage. Albus grinned wildly at him in hopes for a grin in return. All he got was a small, broken smile. But, it was a smile and Albus would take the victory. Scorpius nodded, taking his carry-on bag from his father and hugging him gently. Upon pulling away, Albus grabbed Scorpius’ sleeve and pulled him over to the train, leading the way through the carriages and eventually settling inside an empty compartment.

Upon sitting down, Scorpius pulled out a book from his carry-on and handed it to Albus, a hopeful smile and questioning eyes on his face. Albus took the book hesitantly with a puzzled look.

“What do you want me to do with this?” He asked, and Scorpius rolled his eyes. Actually, _rolled_ his eyes. As though he hadn’t been crying no less than ten minutes ago. As though everything that happened outside never happened. As though he was talking and not hiding his feelings. But he wasn’t talking and Albus wasn’t entirely sure how he’d deal with this situation. Scorpius was acting as though everything was fine, except he wasn’t fine. If he was he’d have a voice.

Scorpius raised his eyebrows at Albus. “You want me to read it to you?” Albus guessed, confusion laced in his tone. Slowly, Scorpius had a small smile form on his lips and nodded, pleading with his eyes. Albus couldn’t say no, so he sat next to him, close enough that Scorpius could rest his head on his shoulder.

As the train pulled out of the station, Albus began reading. The two boys often read to each other, it was a way to cheer the other up when they were feeling down. Usually it was Scorpius who read, though. They both loved books, but Scorpius’ love overpowered Albus’ dramatically. Though, Albus thought, it was nice to not have Scorpius interrupt him every few sentences with a fun fact of some kind – yes, even about fictional novels. However, it was also unsettling.

The silence was deafening.

 

* * *

 

 

Albus wondered just how long Scorpius would go without talking. It had only been two weeks so far, but surely there was only so long a person could go before driving themselves insane? Albus knew what Scorpius got like, he knew that he could usually never keep his thoughts to himself. He would bottle them up for three days, max, then he would explode.

His mind always raced with thoughts, mostly even he couldn’t keep up with them. It was the price to pay for genius and his friend was one incredibly intelligent student. But would that all change now? Without words could Scorpius really excel at classes? Could he perform magic? Non-verbal magic was possible, but for people much older and much more advanced than they were.

The thoughts clouded his thoughts, but he kept them to himself. That was, until later that night when they both had retired to bed. They always turned in earlier than the other boys’ in their dorm. They were friendly enough with them, but they certainly were not _friends._ The only friends either boy had was each other. And they both liked it that way. Albus would never do anything to jeopardise that.

“Scor?” He started, and the other boy looked up rapidly from his book to Albus. Scorpius was sitting cross-legged on his bed, his wand alight next to him to read the words in the fading light of the dorm room. Albus had never heard him cast the incantation, though maybe he did it when Albus was in the bathroom.  “How does the whole magic thing work with… you know, you not talking and all?” He didn’t want to sound insensitive, but he feared he did. However, the small smile on his lips told Albus that he wasn’t in anyway offended.

Instead, Scorpius picked up his wand and extinguished it with a small shake. Then, he pointed it at a shoe near Albus’ bed and before Albus knew it, the shoe was flying towards Scorpius’ hands. He caught it with ease before throwing it back to its usual place. He looked back up at Albus and shrugged.

“How did you do that?” Albus asked, disbelief in his tone.

The truth was, Scorpius had no idea. Magic had always come easy to him, maybe it was the family he descended from. But Scorpius had no idea that when he stopped speaking, it would be like his magic understood him. It seemed to understand and listen to him even when he couldn’t find the words to speak. But, then, his magic was a part of him, it channelled through his veins, his bones, his body. Of course, it would know that speaking wasn’t so easy anymore and of course it would adjust to its new situation. It was magic, after all, and everyone knows magic has a mind of its own.

Scorpius shrugged and locked his eyes with Albus’. They were wide with disbelief and wonder, a smile etched beautifully on his face and for the first time in weeks he found himself genuinely smiling. It was small and fragile, like anything could happen and it would disappear, but he meant it. This smile was meant for Albus and no one else.

Scorpius wished he could tell him that.

But, once again the words got lost.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, what’s Scorpy’s deal?” James spoke, sitting across from Albus on the Slytherin table, grabbing an apple and taking a bite. He spoke of Scorpius as though the other boy wasn’t sitting next to him. Scorpius looked at Albus with his eyebrows raised and Albus gave him a sympathetic smile and turned back to James.

“Sorry?”

“Well, he never used to shut up. Used to hear his annoying voice all the away from the lion’s den and now, well I don’t think I’ve heard him speak in months. Did you two have a lovers tiff?” The smirk on James’ face made Albus want to punch him. As though sensing his anger, Scorpius placed a hand on his knee under the table, a gesture that instantly calmed Albus.

“No, and it’s none of your business,” Albus spat, wishing his brother would stop being an arrogant prat and leave them alone. He loved his brother, he really did. But he made it hard sometimes when he was an ignorant, self-obsessed, abrasive jackass with no respect for the people around him.

“Why not?” He had the nerve to act like he was actually shocked at Albus’ reaction. Even went as far as placing a hand over his chest. Albus rolled his eyes. “Someone finally shuts up the chatterbox, I think everyone deserves to know how.”

“Piss off.”

“Come on, who stole the great voice of Scorpius Malfoy? Did someone die?” James was joking, they both knew that. Though that didn’t stop the audible gasp come from Scorpius’ mouth. It was the first sound Albus had heard the other boy make in months and under any other circumstances he might have been excited – it was progress towards him speaking again. Though, he couldn’t think about that because Scorpius’ hand gripped tightly onto Albus’ leg and his eyes filled with water threatening to over-spill, but James never seemed to notice.

Albus swallowed his anger, desperate to take Scorpius away from the boy causing him pain. Maybe James meant it in a harmless way, but that was not how it was received. Albus stood up and pulled Scorpius with him. He grabbed both his and Scorpius’ bags, throwing his own over his shoulder and placing Scorpius’ gently on his. The other boy seemed frozen.

“Al?” James said, becoming suddenly hesitant at the sudden movement from his brother. Albus rolled his eyes again and grabbed Scorpius’ wrist. He started leading the blond boy away, but stopped last minute and turned to his brother, who now sat shocked in the chair.

“His mum did,” he stated and before he could catch James’ reaction, Albus pulled Scorpius from the Great Hall and back to the dungeons. Once there, Scorpius wrapped his arms around him and sobbed hard into Albus’ shoulder. The feelings overpowering him like a waterfall as the tears fell rapidly down his cheeks. Albus held him until he stopped weeping.

They missed their classes that morning.

 

* * *

 

 

Albus wished the bullies would stop, but they never did. Though, Albus and Scorpius managed to almost make it to Christmas without their usual bruises and scars. They still had the taunts and the mockery, but the physical violence seemed to be kept to a minimum.

Until today.

Christmas break was two days away and everyone seemed to be in the Christmas spirit. Everyone but Scorpius who had fallen into some kind of slump, and Albus because Christmas meant his overbearing family. He loved them, he really did, but seeing every last one of his cousins all on the same day cramped into the same house was nothing short of exhausting.

So, neither of them found themselves in good moods that morning and when they were approached by some fifth years on the way to Care of Magical Creatures class, their mood dramatically declined.

“Potter, Malfoy!” One of the boys called from behind them. They both froze, turning slowly on their heels to meet their tormentors. Scorpius instantly took up refuge behind Albus, holding gently onto the sleeve of his robe.

“Still can’t believe Harry Potter’s son hangs out with Voldemort’s,” another said and Albus felt Scorpius wince.

“Yeah, maybe they both need to be taught a lesson, a Potter should know better,” another suggested. Albus tried backing up, his heart pounding in his chest and doing his best to protect his best friend, but there was more of them and they were all bigger than them. They surrounded them, quickly taking Scorpius from his arm and shoving him forcibly to the floor.

They grabbed Albus to hold him back as he fought relentlessly against them, desperate to get to his friend. A few kicks and punches came his way, but they were nothing to the torture Scorpius was enduring on the floor. Albus was screaming at them to stop but it was like they couldn’t hear him and two of them came down with all their might on a small boy half their size whilst the other two held Albus back.

They tossed taunts around foolishly, joking about what they were doing and insulting the boys to no end. What made them give up in the end, Albus had no idea. He just knew he was being thrown to the floor, aching slightly from the little physical abuse he’d received, and crawled his way over to Scorpius. The laughter of the boys could still be faintly heard as they ran from the scene of the crime.

“Scorpius, are you okay?” Scorpius hadn’t moved, he was curled up into a ball with his hands thrown around his head. The only noise that could be heard was the faint whimper of his sobs. It was noise and Albus should be happy because it was progress, but he was anything but happy. He moved around him, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him onto his lap, careful not to hurt him anymore.

They sat like that for hours, missing their class. Albus held Scorpius until the bleeding stopped and the pain numbed. He wiped the blood away for him with a tissue he conjured, helping him look as presentable as possible. It would mean an unfortunate trip to the hospital wing to see to his broken nose and any other bones he might have broken.

Albus’ heart broke, because in that moment he wasn’t able to protect him. His best friends’ mind and heart was already broken, his voice was shattered, and now his body was too.

 

* * *

 

 

There was one night that changed everything. Albus wasn’t exactly sure how everything changed, but his friendship with Scorpius shifted. Something was different, but with Scorpius’ communication limited to facial expressions and hand gestures, it was difficult to understand what he was thinking about the whole situation. Albus was secretly hoping that this development in their relationship meant Scorpius would open up to him again.

It was late, maybe around three in the morning and Albus had been fast asleep. That was until he heard shuffling coming from the bed beside him. It was like a sixth sense that Albus knew when Scorpius wasn’t having a good night. They were frequent and usually Albus woke up to him silently sobbing and he’d go over to his bed and sit with him for a while. Albus would talk endlessly about something – anything – to get Scorpius to stop crying. Usually it was about a book he loved, Albus had been reading so many to him that talking about them came easier.

But, this particular night was different. Before Albus even had the chance to climb out of bed and over to his best friends, Scorpius was peeling back his curtains. His eyes were wide and bewildered and hopeful. His lips were slightly parted, like he wanted to say something and Albus wished he would. But, he didn’t. Instead, he pleaded to Albus with his eyes and as Albus had somehow begun to understand Scorpius’ silent gestures, he nodded.

A grin overtook his features as Scorpius climbed into bed next to him. But, he didn’t sit across from him like they usually would, he lay next to Albus on his back. Albus lay with him, their shoulders touching because a single bed was no where near enough room for the two growing boys.

“Did you want to stay here?” Albus asked, looking at Scorpius intently. The other boy stared up at the top of the bed and nodded. He then looked to Albus, his eyes questioning, _is that okay?_ He was asking. Albus never knew how he knew, but he just did.

“Of course, it’s okay,” Albus responded, because it was. If that’s what Scorpius wanted, if he felt comfortable then so did Albus. He would do anything for him. He would always make sure Scorpius felt loved and wanted.

Albus felt Scorpius’ hand brush up against his and his breath hitched in his throat. It was a slow and hesitant movement. His fingers felt soft and gentle against the back of his hand and Albus responded by moving his fingers slightly against Scorpius’. Scorpius understood the confirmation and wrapped his hand in Albus’, holding it firmly and with everything he had.

That was when everything changed for Albus.

That small, gentle touch. Light as a feather and fresh like the wind. A shiver ran through his spine, enticing him with magic. His hand was so frail, so cold but the touch alone sent fire through his bloodstream and heat rose in his cheeks. Holding his hand was like diving into a pool on a hot summers’ day: refreshing, breath-taking, needed.

Yes, that was when everything changed.

A simple action caused a ripple in time, changing the past, present and future.

The scariest thing was that Albus now didn’t know what the future held for him and Scorpius.

What he did know, however, was that after that night, touching became easier. They would hug randomly, hold hands under tables, lean into each other more when seated next to each other and move strands of hair from the others faces. He’d often find them caught up in each other’s eyes – in a _moment,_ as Lily would call them. He became so comfortable with being so close to Scorpius, his heart would flutter at every touch and Albus never understood what that meant.

He did know, however, that when the summer came, Albus felt completely and utterly lost without his best friend by his side.

 

* * *

 

 

For Scorpius, summer had never felt so lonely. It was his first one without his mother. He couldn’t wait for it to be over, to leave behind the gloomy manor for the bright halls of Hogwarts. To leave his fathers’ constant sombre face for the glowing of Albus’ smile.

He missed him.

And he told his mother so. In a letter, of course.

Scorpius managed to write his first letter ever since the death of his mum. The words seemingly flowed from the end of his quill and even though the words brought tears to his eyes, he somehow found himself smiling.

He sat with his mother all afternoon, a fresh bouquet of flowers illuminating against the summer sun lying next to her headstone. He had conjured them himself and felt quite proud of himself. Scorpius lay the letter he’d written next to them and tried to find the words to speak.

But, as always. His breath cut short, the words lodged in his throat.

Nothing came out of him.

Why would they? He wanted to speak to his mum and only his mum and he wasn’t able to do that. He was able to speak to her headstone where she was buried underneath, but she wouldn’t hear him. She wouldn’t be able to understand or talk back to him. She was gone forever.

So, Scorpius cried his silent tears until his father called him in for dinner.

That was pretty much how the whole summer went, his father tried to talk to him in which Scorpius had no response. He spent time at his mum’s grave and the other times in her library, reading her favourite books. When it was time to return to Hogwarts, Scorpius had smiled for the first time for a reason that wasn’t receiving one of Albus’ letters. This reason was that he’d be seeing his best friend again.

His best friend, his life, his everything.

Scorpius couldn’t explain the shift either, but he also knew something was different.

It was the way Albus held onto him for a second longer than normal when hugging him. It was dark nights under blankets with their hands entwined. It was Albus’ quiet whisper when talking to him when the rest of the world was asleep. It was Albus’ flushed cheeks and sweaty palms when Scorpius brushed his cheek. It was sitting way too close because Scorpius felt lost and Albus made him feel found again. It was silent stares and stolen glances.

It was something completely and utterly exhilarating, and Scorpius found himself liking the shift. He found himself liking Albus. But he couldn’t tell him that, because every time he did the words got caught and lost, carried away with the wind and Albus’ voice.

“So, I was thinking about trying out for the Quidditch team this year,” Albus spoke as they sat down in a carriage on their own. Scorpius raised his eyebrows and Albus chuckled.

“Yes, I know we hate Quidditch, but maybe I don’t hate it so much anymore. I played a lot with my family over summer and it turns out I’m not a bad seeker,” Scorpius smiled. Of course, he wasn’t a bad seeker. Seeking was in his blood, literally. “You should try out with me!” Scorpius scrunched his nose in disgust and Albus started laughing hysterically.

“Okay, okay, maybe not,” he eventually managed through ragged breathing. “You’ll come with me to trials though, right?” Scorpius nodded and leaned over to grab Albus’ hand. It was a small and comforting gesture and one that said: _I’ll support you no matter what._ And Albus knew exactly what Scorpius had said without saying anything because of that something that had shifted.

It seemed Albus knew every thought that went through Scorpius’ head. He knew what every head nod and every hand-hold and every facial expression and every gesture meant. Their bond deepened further than spoken communication because Albus was the best person in the entire world. He adjusted to difficult circumstances to make sure Scorpius never felt lost or alone. He made him feel loved and appreciated all the time by just being there.

 _I love you,_ Scorpius wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him with every fibre of his being, but he feared that even if he was speaking, those words would never come easy. Maybe something had shifted between the two of them, that did not mean that Albus returned his feelings necessarily.

“What’s wrong?” Albus asked, concern clouding his expression. Scorpius shook his head at him: _nothing._ He meant it, nothing was wrong exactly.

“You sure?” Scorpius nodded his head. “You’d tell me if there was right?” Scorpius nodded and Albus seemed satisfied with this answer.

“I missed you, you know?” Albus said. Scorpius squeezed his hand: _I missed you, too._ The smile on Albus’ face could win wars and cure blood curses. It was pure and sacred and blinding. Scorpius couldn’t help but smile back.

 

* * *

 

 

Albus made Slytherin seeker, and he was adorably over the moon about it. He hugged Scorpius so tight that, for that short moment, all his broken pieces were put back together. If there was any time that Scorpius thought he’d be able to speak words again, it would be seeing Albus that happy, but the words never came. He instantly felt guilty.

He’d been mute for over a year. Words failed him in a way they never had before. But now, Scorpius wanted to speak. He wanted to be able to talk to his best friend, to tell him how much he appreciated him and loved him for being so patient and staying with him through all of this. He wanted nothing more in the whole world. But, he couldn’t. He didn’t even know why anymore.

It was true that the only person he used to want to talk to was his mother, and he’d gone mute because not being able to share anything with her ever again was unbearable to the extent that Scorpius never wanted to speak again. He never thought he’d find someone who actually cared about him enough to listen to his rambles and look upon him fondly. He knew Albus did that, but even after all this time he was still by his side.

But he was still at a loss.

And he hated it.

So, he did everything he could to show his support for Albus. That was how he’d ended up in the Slytherin stands, wrapped in a Slytherin scarf with two green streaks across his cheeks and a small green flag in his hand, waiting patiently for Slytherin’s first match of the season to start. And more important, Albus’ first match. It was against Ravenclaw, who were a decent team this year, but Slytherin still fancied their odds.

Despite how insecure Scorpius felt in the crowds without Albus, he instantly settled when the unruly black hair of his best friend emerged onto the pitch alongside his team. Scorpius had made sure to sit at the front for the best view. He may not have liked Quidditch, but he liked Albus and figured that was enough. Locking eyes with him, Albus sent him a small wave which Scorpius returned. It felt nice, it was communication that was meant to be unspoken. Scorpius didn’t feel so guilty.

The game was quickly underway as the teams mounted their brooms and stationed themselves in the air, followed by the various different objects needed for the game. In all honesty, Scorpius struggled to keep up. He listened closely to the sound of the commentator narrating the game but kept his eyes mostly on Albus. Scorpius played a game with himself, seeing if he could spot the snitch before Albus. He lost.

Watching Quidditch games often put him on edge. There was something barbaric about kids being able to bat Bludgers at other kids to try and distract them. It was dangerous and awful, and Scorpius genuinely feared for Albus’ life. Many had fallen victim to the Bludger over the years, it was the most dangerous thing about Quidditch. It did not help Scorpius’ anxiety knowing Albus was flying around with that thing being thrown recklessly.

There was a loud cheer from next to him which made Scorpius jump nearly a mile in the air. The cheering sound was in retaliation of Albus catching sight of the snitch and closely pursuing it. The Ravenclaw seeker was shortly behind, gaining fast until they were neck and neck.

Scorpius saw it all happen before it did.

He saw the Ravenclaw beater twirl her bat before hitting the Bludger with full force.

He saw the Ravenclaw seeker duck their broom slightly.

He saw the snitch wrap firmly into the Ravenclaw seekers hand.

He saw the Bludger hit Albus with as much force as it could muster.

Scorpius drew his wand.

“ALBUS!”

 

* * *

 

 

Albus was stopped by an invisible force in just enough time before he collided harshly with the pitch grounds. He could have sworn he heard someone shout his name, but it was impossible. Because the person he heard was Scorpius and Scorpius didn’t speak. Albus concluded it was the Bludger causing his thoughts to drive him crazy. The forcefield was removed and Albus fell the last few inches to the floor, letting out a disgruntled moan before screaming out in pain.

Fire coursed through his veins, pain throbbing in his ribs as he rolled around hoping the movement would ease it. It was only making it worse. The sound of the crowd cheering drowned out most of his thoughts as the rest of him team gathered around him. They seemed concerned, telling him to stop moving but he was in so much pain and _Merlin, that fucking hurts._

“Albus!” There was that voice again. That beautiful angelic voice he hadn’t heard in over a year. He was dreaming, he concluded. There was no way he was awake right now. Maybe he was dead. But, that would mean Scorpius was dead, too, right? No, no way, Albus did not want to be dead because he didn’t want Scorpius to be dead. Okay, what was going on? Albus wasn’t sure.

“Al, are you okay?” The same voice spoke, clouded with worry and concern. Albus forced his eyes open, trying to keep his groans in despite the fire in his body. When he opened them, he was met with the most gorgeous pair of grey eyes he’d ever seen, the boy’s blond hair falling messily out it’s previously styled quiff.

“No, you... can’t... speak,” Albus managed between deep breaths and he was definitely dreaming all this. Albus eyes felt heavy so he started closing them again, wanting nothing more than darkness to take over because _damn, he was so tired and in so much pain._

“Albus, you need to keep your eyes open, okay? Please Al,” the voice was getting increasingly worried. He felt Scorpius’ hands on his arm, holding on tightly.

“You… can’t spe-” he never got to finish his sentence before the world tumbled into black.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, you,” there was that voice again, that beautiful angelic voice that could calm him with seconds. He hated how much it sounded like Scorpius, it was like he was teasing him. Though, he wasn’t dreaming anymore, was he? Albus opened his eyes to greet the blond boy sat on his bed with him.

“Scor?” He felt a little groggy, but he was almost certain that he hadn’t been imagining the whole thing. Albus tried to sit up, feeling like a dead fish lying down, but Scorpius rushed to help him, so he wouldn’t do it on his own. “You can speak?”

Scorpius nodded, but never said anything else. He was quiet for so long that Albus thought he was going to collapse into himself again. Panic settled over him because there was no way Scorpius could do that again. Albus wouldn’t let him. He had finally spoken after over a year, that had to mean something. He couldn’t stop again, he just couldn’t. Albus couldn’t bare it if he stopped hearing that beguiling voice of his.

“Scor, please say something,” he begged, leaning up way too fast and causing a shooting pain through his ribs. He groaned in response and Scorpius instantly helped him settle back down before taking up his previous position on Albus’ bed and taking his hand. “Please,” Albus begged. Scorpius opened his mouth and closed it again, repeating this action before finally deciding on something to say.

“Are you okay?” He finally spoke and the words instantly put Albus at ease.

“I’m fine, are you?” He nodded.

“I thought I lost you,” he only spoke in short bursts, which was different from how he used to speak, but Albus would take anything right now. Getting him back to how he used to be would take a lot more work, but actual words was something he could work on now.

“Don’t be silly, you could never lose me,” Albus grinned at him, squeezing his hand.

“I don’t know what you have happened if I didn’t cast that charm on time.”

“That was you?” Scorpius nodded, chewing relentlessly on his bottom lip. It was a habit he’d only acquired in the past year. Albus supposed he had to do something with his lips if they weren’t to be used for talking. Sometimes he chewed so hard they bled, that was when Albus started intervening and coming up with strategies to stop him from going so far.

“Thank you,” Albus said. He felt his heart go warm and fuzzy, Scorpius had saved his life. He would never be able to thank him enough for that. “Can I ask you something?” Scorpius nodded. “You’re talking again?” It was supposed to be a statement, but it came out more of a question. Scorpius chuckled only slightly and shrugged.

“It just came out,” he finally said after too long a minute. “I’ve been waiting for it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s hard to explain, but I will,” Scorpius was doing that thing where he looked at you, but never really _looked_ at you, like he was seeing straight through you. Albus found it unsettling most the time. “Soon,” he added as an afterthought.

“That’s okay, I don’t want to push you.”

“I do need to tell you something though.”

Albus never pushed, knowing that Scorpius would spill eventually. A comfortable silence settled over the two of them as they used each other’s eyes to stay grounded in the conversation. Albus looked at him intently, telling him without words that he could tell him anything and that there was no need to worry. They’d gotten pretty good at that: communicating without words.

“I appreciate you,” Scorpius finally said, as though the internal battle he was having with himself had finally subsided. “You’re amazing,” Albus wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to get used to Scorpius talking in short sentences, but then he gotten used to him not talking at all so maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. “I’m glad I have you.”

“I’ve really fucking missed you,” Albus said, ignoring the dull pain to lean up and grab Scorpius into a hug. Scorpius seemed taken aback at first but quickly recovered, melting into the hug. Albus started planting kisses on his head. “Really,” a kiss on his forehead, “fucking,” a kiss on his cheek, “missed” a kiss on his nose, “you,” a kiss on his lips.

He pulled away as soon as he realised what he’d done. Maybe it was the pain potions because he surely had gone delirious. Scorpius stared at him for a really long time, searching his eyes for something he’d never find. He never spoke, seemingly stuck for words and Albus feared he’d scared him back into silence. Albus’ heart was pounding hard, it was so loud that it sounded in his ears. Then, after what could have been years for all Albus knew, he found himself being pulled back towards Scorpius.

Or more importantly, Scorpius’ lips. It caught him by surprise at first, then he realised that this was what he wanted, and it was Scorpius who initiated it and so he melted into the kiss. It was soft and gentle and kind and everything that Scorpius was. His lips moved hesitantly with his, so afraid he’ll do something wrong so approaching it with caution as he did everything. Albus let him keep his hands on the wheel, knowing Scorpius would feel more comfortable if in control.

The kiss lasted significantly longer than the first, and when they pulled away Albus felt a sense of loss overcome him. Again, they stared at each other for a long time, before both their faces cracked into huge grins and giggles escaped their lips. Albus let himself drown in Scorpius’ laugh, thankful to hear the delightful sound and know it was just for him.

“That was… different,” Albus concluded once they both collected themselves. Scorpius began chewing on his lips and fiddling with his hands, Albus tried not to roll his eyes at his irrational nerves. “Good different,” he concluded, grabbing Scorpius’ hands to stop him from fiddling and Scorpius grinned.

 

* * *

 

 

Albus was released from the hospital wing two days later, following a visit from his parents, his Quidditch team, his siblings and his cousins. He was relieved to be exiting the white walls of hell. It wasn’t the hospital wing he had a problem with exactly, more so what the place represented. It was boring and kept him from Scorpius, so therefore it was hell.

Of course, Scorpius visited as often as allowed and slowly he had eased back into talking. He wasn’t quite how he used to be, Albus feared that wouldn’t happen for a long, long time, and he mostly still spoke in shorter sentences, but it was more comfortable than before. It was like he had finally came to the realisation that he could talk again.

They both settled back into classes nicely, though Albus had to catch up on the work he’d missed. Scorpius promised to help.

Scorpius still never spoke in class or to anyone besides Albus, actually. Not that Albus minded, it was like Scorpius was his secret in more than just one way; the other way being their strange relationship they had tumbled into. It felt right, though, their newfound relationship. It was like that thing that had shifted between them finally had a name to it, and that name was love. Albus found himself liking the idea of loving Scorpius forever, because it had to be forever, there was no way he’d be able to live with himself if it wasn’t.

It was a couple of weeks later when Albus had returned to the dorms following Quidditch practice that he found Scorpius sat cross-legged on Albus’ bed, his head in a book he was only half reading. Albus could tell he was only half reading because he’s become an expert on all things non-verbal in terms of Scorpius, and the way his eyes drifted way too slowly across the page meant his mind was elsewhere.

“Sickle for your thoughts, Scor?” Albus giggled, plopping down on the bed opposite it. He had opted to shower in the Quidditch changing rooms and now was glad of it. It took a moment for Scorpius to even realise he was there before he lifted his head and settled his eyes on Albus. He was chewing his goddamn lip, _again._

“I’m sorry,” was all he said and Albus’ expression clouded with confusion.

“Sorry for what?”

“Shutting down on you this past year,” so that is what this is about? Of course, Scorpius felt guilty for it. He wouldn’t be Scorpius if he didn’t.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he said and choked on the words. “You were so good to me and I was so shit,” he was crying now so Albus pulled him into a hug, letting his tears soak up on his clean Quidditch jersey.

“No, you weren’t, you were grieving and struggling and that’s okay,” it really was okay. Albus understood, mostly anyway. Albus would have probably done the same thing in that situation, but then Albus had more loving family than Scorpius that probably would have grounded him. Draco loved his son, dearly, that didn’t mean he didn’t have trouble showing it from time to time.

“I’m ready to explain,” he stated and Albus pulled away, looking deeply into his eyes to search for hesitation and finding nothing.

“You sure?” He still had to ask. Scorpius nodded and Albus nodded back, taking his hands in his and squeezing them tightly. Scorpius took a deep breath, chewing slightly on his lip before stopping and looking at Albus.

“When mum died, I didn’t really know what to say. Nothing I said would have made it go away, nothing would have bought her back. So, I never said anything at all. I screamed the house down that night, and then I just stopped and that was it. At first it was kind of a choice. Mum would read to me all her favourite stories growing up and when I learnt to read I would read my favourite ones back. It was our thing. Books were our thing. Words were our thing. After she was gone, they stopped being our thing because how can you have something with someone who wasn’t there anymore?

“And nothing seemed right. No words seemed right because she wasn’t there to hear them. She couldn’t respond or understand or just listen because she was gone. I had no one I wanted to share those stories with, so I didn’t speak. It sounds stupid, I know. And I know I had you and my father but neither of you were her. Then everything changed, our relationship changed, and you started reading books to me and you started sharing stories and were so patient and I felt so guilty because I could never return those things. I wanted to so desperately, I wanted to talk to you, I wanted to speak. And I don’t know why but I couldn’t. It stopped being a choice because I just couldn’t find the words. When you fell from your broom I think it scared it out of me and once I spoke once, it started to become easier. But, only with you. It’s only ever you.”

There were gentle, silent tears rolling down his cheeks slowly. His voice faltered and stumbled over a few words, but they were the most he’d spoken in one succession since before his mothers’ death.

Albus was stunned, unsure entirely on what to say or how to say it without fucking everything up. Scorpius was treading on glass by opening up to him and Albus wanted to make sure he didn’t cut his feet. So, he never said anything. After all, unspoken communication was their area of expertise. Instead, he smiled faintly at him, squeezed his hands and pulled him into another hug to which he accepted graciously.

“She would be proud of you,” Albus mumbled into Scorpius’ neck and he felt his breathing hitch. “You found your way back to me, that’s all I ever wanted,” Scorpius pulled him closer, tightening his grip on the hug. His actions said everything he mouth couldn’t formulate at the moment: _I love you._ Albus squeezed tighter back, kissing his neck softly, his own actions substituting for words: _I love you, too._

**Author's Note:**

> Not going to lie, this was an emotional rollercoaster to write and it's been sitting in my files for about a week because it took me so long and it was so dear to me that I was scared to share it. Anyway, hope I didn't make you sob too hard, but I like exploring Scorpius and the relationship he had with his mother. It's too pure and he wouldn't be the same without her, so thus, came this little gem. 
> 
> Kudos and comments welcome, if you loved it or hated it, let me know!


End file.
